A mistake I made often as a new leader in business and family was an unwillingness to be direct. Instead of giving direct feedback to those I had concerns with, I:
- Gave non-verbal queues
- Soft-peddled the message
- Complained to others about the one with whom I had concerns (a.k.a. back-stabbing and gossip)
- Used passive-aggressive sarcasm
I had a spirit of criticism, but I wanted to be liked and I didn't want to create waves. People figured out that I was critical of something in just about everyone, but I wasn't willing to say it directly to their face. This left colleagues, family, and friends wondering, "What criticism is he holding back today?"
If you have issues, concerns, or feedback for someone, tell them directly, with a spirit of love and respect. It's not always easy or natural to be direct, but it's always worth it.
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