It's been a while. A big reason why is that my wife and I became foster parents last spring to a smart, energetic, loving two-year-old (who's now three). We don't know how long he'll be with us, but he'll be loved while he's here. It's been altogether draining and fulfilling. I've had little time to think, let alone write, but it's been worth it. It recently got me thinking...
I know lots of people who think they have what it takes to be a good business consultant. I know hardly any who think they have what it takes to be a foster parent. The good news is, it's a lot of the same stuff:
Lead through influence vs. control. Consultants and foster parents can't control the final outcome. Foster kids and their birth parents come into your life with painful histories. State agencies and courts make poor judgements. Don't waste energy on others' bad decisions and actions. Love, give generously, add value and build trust. Then leverage your newfound influence for good. If you're a good consultant, you already get this.
Hold them with open hands. A foster kid can be like a consultant's project. Each belong to someone else and can be taken away at any time. Accept this. Hold on too tight and you'll crush them. People say, "Isn't it hard knowing he could be taken away?" But any of our kids could die today. The chances of this one being taken away are just a little higher.
Respond to criticism with grace. You'll be criticized and asked intrusive questions. You'll be blamed for things that aren't your fault. Your first response will be defensive, but don't take it personally. It isn't about you. If you're a consultant, it's not your company. If you're a foster parent, he isn't your kid. If your purpose is self-serving, you won't last. Take blame with grace and give credit with humility.
The need for foster homes is huge. Many do it for the money (this will get its own post). We need more families who just want to help kids. You probably have what it takes. Want to learn more? Check out Olive Crest. They've helped us on our journey. Or, just give me a shout and I'll be happy to answer your questions.
nice article and great spaceļ¼thanks for sharing this with all of us.
Posted by: penny auction | 07/26/2011 at 02:27 AM